Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I AM VODKA MAN
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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