i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
