think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
