I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
