You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize