I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
