there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
