so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
