I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
