So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
