So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
