like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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