he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
