I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
