He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
