woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
