We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
