the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
