And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
