You made me cry and you don't even care
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
i think i just lost a toe
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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