fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
