If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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