According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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