Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize
