"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize