i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm just crazy horny about you
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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