Rock
Scissors
Fuck
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
