She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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