so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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