All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
