Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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