What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
