shes about as inviting as chlamydia
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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