Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
