East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize