We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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