why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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