Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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