Non-Jews are for practice
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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