the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
