If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
