I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize