Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
