well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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