I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
