If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
