I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
