you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
