I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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