Who wears a wallet chain?!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
