He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
