You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
