Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
