What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
