I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize