I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize