I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
