Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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