look no pants
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
