I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize