I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
