I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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