I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize