So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
