Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
