yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
