the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize