just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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